Scene: Sisi and Jo watching "Making of Generation Kill" on the TV while sitting on two recliner seats. Seats are positioned about half a metre apart with small square coffee table between them.

Jo: *laughs* Spilled coffee!
Sisi: What?
J: Eric Ladin just said, "You've just spilled all your coffee!"
S: LOL. Just like you!

INTERJECT: Jo has spilled two coffees - one onto Sisi during a plane ride and one all over her desk monthly planner, a soft drink onto a customer and a glass of solo in the past two months. The solo was last night.

J: I know! I can't believe I'm doing it so often. I really didn't mean to last night, I was just reaching for the glass....with conviction
S: It didn't even look like you were reaching for it, it just looked like you went *pah*

Sisi flings her left arm out emphatically. A ring flies off her middle finger and hits Jo squarely in the neck.

S: OH MY GOD WAS THAT MY RING?!
J: *clutching neck with hand, choked sounds* argh....yes......friendly fire! I'm hit!
S: LMFAO
J: I nearly blacked out I think...I can't believe you hit me in a fatality zone!
S:.....fatality zone?
J: Yes....you know...head, neck, torso....areas of high fatality?
S:......
J: *defensive* I read a lot fighting books when I was younger, I have an acute sense of shock when I'm hit unexpectedly in those regions.
S: Riiiiiiight. Man that was brilliant...You can't script that shit.


Just another reason why there should be cameras documenting our lives. What a moment of inspired genius.

I fear that I will always be
A lonely number like root three
A three is all that's good and right,
Why must my three keep out of sight
Beneath a vicious square root sign,
I wish instead I were a nine
For nine could thwart this evil trick,
with just some quick arithmetic
I know I'll never see the sun, as 1.7321
Such is my reality, a sad irrationality
When hark! What is this I see
Another square root of a three
Has quietly come waltzing by,
Together now we multiply
To form a number we prefer,
Rejoicing as an integer
We break free from our mortal bonds
And with a wave of magic wands
Our square root signs become unglued
And love for me has been renewed.

I totally wish I had been the one to write that. Like I wish I had written, directed a romantic comedy with myself in the lead role and with Gale Harrold playing my love interest and Margaret Cho playing my best friend. It's called Saving Grace guys. Seethe in envy.

Helen's post reminded me that I never did rant about Eastern Promises which is teh awesomez0rz. And curiously R18+. (Sorry Sisi) Bear in mind that I haven't watched any of the Saw movies, Hostel or any of that sort of horrorporn so perhaps I am not as 'desensitised' as some people but I do think I've seen my fair share of gratuitous violence via Quentin Tarantino etc.

However, this knife fight sequence in the movie was seriously adrenalin raising. I was actually squirming in my seat and may have been hyperventilating at one point.

Aside from that Viggo *hearts*. The slicked back hair, dark glasses and immaculate suit just looks so GOOD on him. And the tattooes! ZOMG. He's fairly hardcore. But not so hardcore that he doesn't abstain from man-touching Vincent Cassel's character. Whom the Age reviewer described as having "latent homoerotic yearnings" for Viggo.

On a different note, SISI I TAKE IT YOU HEARD THAT THE MTC WILL BE PLAYING HOLDING THE MAN NEXT YEAR? Tickets go on sale 28 January 2008.

Fandy has given the artistic, critical review.


I have only 2 things to add:

1) Edmund was HOT. Helen! You would have loved the Russian military costumes!


2) Ian McKellen has an enormous penis.

Yesterday I was rear-ended.





Get your mind out of the gutter.

The day started fine, I went to Clare's house for law revision and left at around 2:15pm and was giving Yasmin a lift to Brandon Park. I stopped at a set of lights and it was all good for about 20 seconds and then BOOM CRASH *sound of metal scraping and glass shattering*

I may have gotten slight whiplash at this point but I was more "OMFG I JUST GOT REAR-ENDED OMFG IT'S THEIR FAULT RIGHT? RIGHT?!? OMFG THE INSURANCE!" The latter due to the fact that the car is insured under my mother's name (because it is about $2000 dollars cheaper than insuring it under my probationary, 18-year-old self) AND SHE HAPPENS TO BE IN NEW ZEALAND SO IT'S KIND OF ILLEGAL.

I couldn't bear to survey the damage so I told Yasmin to go out first and check.

"You won't believe this, but you're fine."
"WHAT?! *jumps out of car* NO WAY. *glances furtively at the ute behind me which is missing its rear windshield* So....can I just leave then?"

Turns out the tow bar at the back of the car, the tow bar that I once swore a vendetta against after having painfully walked into it one dark evening, saved me. The number plate of the ute behind me was completely impaled on the tow bar and was sporting a large gaping hole. I couldn't look at it without imagining the kind of damage the tow bar could have done to a human being.

The End.

I just realised that I haven't eaten fresh fruit in 3 days. I am on a oneway track to scurvy at this rate.

Also, I now have to factor in grocery shopping. Or at least, taking my grandparents grocery shopping. They'll be buying the food they eat for dinner but if I want raisin bread, or biscuits or even gladwrap or anything, than I'm supposed to buy it.

Thank god I haven't moved out, I don't think I'd be able to deal with laundry and bills.

Today I filled the car with petrol by myself for the first time and it was hideously expensive even though I had 8 cents off per litre. Hopefully spending $60 on petrol will not become a weekly occurence.

Also, while driving back from Bunnings Warehouse I got completely lost and ended up in Dandenong. When I pulled over to check the boot for the Melway I realised it was not there. So I drove around randomly, panic rising, followed some buses, ended up in a BUSES ONLY ONE WAY parking bay, was honked at, panic rising to hysteria, finally followed one road until it intersected with Springvale Rd and found my way home 45 minutes later.

Independence kind of sucks.

I PASSED!

I am now in the possession of a probationary licence. Which is perfect because my parents leave for New Zealand on Sunday which would have left me kind of stranded.

I was so nervous last night at around 9:30pm my mother drove me to a family friend's house (Emily, it was Bill) to practice. Which was really helpful and he gave me the advice of 'looking pretty and chatting up your examiner'. Which made me curl my lip at first but I figured I needed all the help I could get. So I made a bit of an effort, probably better than what I look like for uni.

Which turned out to be all for nothing because my examiner was OBVIOUSLY GAY but I passed anyway! Bill also gave me the advice that I should talk to them to distract them only I was so nervous I could only manage a , "The warm weather is a nice change?"

AAAAAND, my licence photo doesn't look half bad. And I hugged my mother for the first time in about....3 years.

Now I just need to pass exams...*ray of light dims slightly*

pr0n!! <3333333


Jo loffs her pr0n muchly.

Let's make a movie! (With nightvision! >DDDDD)

Hmmm, I find it interesting that something that seemed...alright years ago can seem amazingly stupid and lame now.

I just watched Ai no Kusabi.

When I watched a bit in year eight I can't say I thought it was good or cool but it was...alright.

Now I just cringe at the midi-like music, the animation which really annoys me and the bad bad dialogue.

But apart from that:ANGST.

I supposed I should have been warned when Michelle said she liked it because she LIKES angst. And not just ordinary angst, it's the whole "If you/we are going to die then lets die together" kind of angst which is the number one tearjerker in my opinion. And the whole bit where Katze was crying. Argh.

But the whole death scene wasn't that sad (due to some incredibly irritating music in the background) so I'm over it.

Quote of the day
Except for the show where the fat people beat up their relatives
Bridget Jones' Diary

YAY!

Today, I had about an hour to play with the coffee machines at MacDonalds and I know how to use it, although I tend to take about twice as long as the girl teaching me because of all the buttons and the fact that nearly all the different drinks come in different cups.

But it's V.V. fun! After all this time watching other people make coffees for me it feels really cool to be doing it myself.

I especially enjoy pouring the milk in and scooping the froth on the top.

I was using the flattery prompt thing that Suzy sent me and typed in my name as Jo Wanker and the first compliment to pop up was "What a beautiful name Jo Wanker". Is amused.

Mr Trufitt is the best.

Quote of the day
"Oh I nearly raped you there"
Robbie from MacDonalds

Wow, an entry not to do with my lack of social life!

Yesterday I had a biology excursion and was not at school (you probably noticed it was less noisy and more serious). We went snorkelling which was fun but then turned VERY VERY BAD.

Problem #1. Salt water kept going into my mouth and I choked a lot
Problem #2. The water was 20 degrees but felt 2 degrees short of freezing. Water was supposed to fill in between the wetsuit and your skin. Then your body would heat the water up and you were supposed to stay warm. SUPPOSED TO! HA! My wetsuit (along with Corinna and Katrina's) was way too big and so every time by body had heated up the water, I would move and MORE COLD WATER WOULD GET IN! Then my body would try and heat that only after about the fifth time I think my body kind went "SCREW TRYING TO GET WARM IT IS NOT WORKING SO YOU CAN JUST FREEZE!!!" When we got back on the boat Katrina and I were shaking so violently, they gave us cordial and I nearly spilt it. (Corinna had gotten out early, smart)

The snorkelling instructor then kept going "THAT WAS GROUSE BRUSSEL SPROUTS!!!" Right in my face.

The rest of the day was less interesting. I think Mitz has pictures of me lying across a set of railroad tracks and various other things.

Qoute from Janice from the Marine Discovery Centre
"All that's going on out there (the sea) is food and sex. And there are some pretty strange eating habits and even stranger sexual behaviours but they aren't being kinky for the sake of being kinky. They're doing it for survival"

Did you know barnacles have penises 6 to 20 times as long as their body?

Who thinks Fandy should dress up as Ash (from Pokemon) for manifest?

I wonder at the point of updating lj while I'm at school as my friends here are the only ones who read it and I CAN JUST TALK TO THEM FACE TO FACE!!

Never the less, it is fun.

Last Friday was hell as I was the only girl at MacDonalds and all the other guys there all seemed friends and kind of ignored me. Therefore there was plenty of slash to be interpreted by me. I was amused.

That was the okay bit, then all these people left and there were only 5 PEOPLE IN THE ENITRE STORE WORKING!!!!!!!!!!!!!

ONE person taking orders at top drive through (lucky bastard had the easiest job)
ONE person making ALL the burgers (He was viciously swearing towards the end)
ONE person giving food on bottom drive through (they probably had the worst job only it was the annoying guy who says "Hey its JoJo! Aha, my name is JoJo!" EVERY time he sees me so I didn't feel too sorry for him)
And ONE person serving on counter (me)

By the end of the evening I was no longer smiling at people and practically throwing them their food.

I have no life.

Occurrences at MacDonalds this long weekend

Jo's Inner Thoughts will be indicated by ()

Friday Evening

Kid: Excuse me, our brother is sliding down the slide with the trays
Me: (What am I supposed to do?) ...Okay
Follows kids over, the boy is indeed sliding down the slide
Me: Umm, can I have the tray back?
Boy: *throws tray at me*
Me: (^%#^%$&) Thankyou

Sunday Evening

Me: Hi, what can I get you?
Guy #1: *stares at menu looking stoned*
Guy #2 wearing a gigantic sombrero and sunglasses: *walks up and puts arm around waist of guy #1: Come one darling what do you want?
Guy #1: Not in public
Guy #2: I don't think *squints at nametag* Jo will mind
Me: *doesn't mind at all, stares*
Guy #1: I'd like a large orange juice and if it's watered down I'm going to throw it at the manager

By some strange coincidence the orange juice is watered down. I almost consider giving it to him just to see if he would throw it at the manager but decide against it.

So then I get Renee to fill up the orange juice. For those who don't know, all the drinks sold at MacDonalds arrive in concentrated form and are then diluted with water. So Renee gets this gigantic bag of concentrated orange juice (which is the most disgusting thing I have ever seen) and attaches this long tube to the opening and feeds the tube through the machine. (I don't know exactly how it works but it looks complicated and disturbing)

Me: I can bring the orange juice out to you when its done if you like
Guy #1: No I want to watch
*stares for a moment*
Guy #1: I'm not even going to tell you what that looks like

Looks again and realises it does indeed look dirty, the whole tube thing.

Then today I realised I was probably the only one who worked there who didn't smoke and that even people I thought didn't smoke actually were smokers and this one guy who I thought was my age because he wasn't that much taller and looked little went out for a smoking break so I figured he was at least 18 because otherwise the managers (who are ALL smokers) wouldn't have let him. There seems to be a communal stash of cigarettes too.

Anyway, at Chinese school we had to write evaluative essays on the good and bad points of teenage dating and the teacher said we didn't have to had any experiences because we could ask our friends and then I thought I don't think my friends are the best people to ask as I was pretty sure they wanted an essay on MALE/FEMALE relationships.

Quote of the day
"If you're attracted to girls does that mean you look at yourself naked in the mirror?" Chasing Amy

JULIE"S BAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAACK!!!

Yayayayayayayayayay!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1

Will watch Movie on Sunday with friends and have lunch. YAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAY!!!!

I'll see if I can drag my mum to a movie (because then I don't have to pay). Hmmm, Alfie on Sunday for $8 and all contributions go towards tsunami survivors. Excellent.

The Golden Globes were on Monday. It feel strange because now there's no one or film that I really want to win. Oh well, award shows are always exciting.

BAFTA announced February ?
Academy Award nominees announcement January 25th
nominees luncheon February 7th
winners announced February 27th

What an exciting month.

Days till school starts: 11 Gosh it really is creeping up isn't it? *Makes not to fit in more movie viewings.

Still happy.

I am in a EXTRAORDINARILY good mood today.

That is all.

I finally rented some movies and realised that most of the best movies are in the three-day-release section meaning they are more expensive. I noticed that Ocean's Eleven got moved up from weekly to 3-day, properly capitalising on the release of the sequel.

Movies borrowed:
Quills - funny but also quite disturbing. Geoffrey Rush full frontal nudity scene. His character, the Marquis de Sade spends the movie hitting on Madeleine (Kate Winslet) a 'innocent and beautiful chambermaid' and the abbe(Joaquin Phoenix). Then ending is pretty violent.

American History X - also quite disturbing, there's one death scene which makes my skin crawl. About a neo-nazi skinhead who goes to jail for three years for the murder of two African teenagers and comes back changed. Shower rape.

Saving Private Ryan - graphic war violence but there are moments that are quite amusing.

Queen Margot - French film about the St Bartholomew Day's Massacre (why Friday 13th is unlucky) where Catholics slaughtered 6000 Protestants in the streets of Paris. Margot is the daughter of Catherine de Medici the one who orders the slaughter. Being a French film, there is a lot of nudity (male and female). There is also incest between Margot and her two brothers and one of her brothers and their mother. Quite gory too.

I don't know about everyone else but my local video store places the school-related movies directly above the porn ones. I thought it was interesting.

I hate working at MacDonalds.

My mother registered with the Cinema Saver Club at Waverley Gardens so now we watch movies for $3.50. Add to movie count:

The Polar Express (I only saw it because my parents didn't feel safe leaving my brother and sister in there alone. It's so full of Christmas spirit it's sickening)

Team America World Police (I love the songs and this bit of dialogue:
There are three kinds of people in the world: dicks, pussies, and assholes. Pussies don't like dicks because pussies get fucked by dicks. But dicks also fuck assholes. Assholes that just want to shit on everything. Pussies may think they can deal with assholes their way. But the only thing that can fuck an asshole is a dick, with some balls. The problem with dicks is they fuck too much or fuck when it isn't appropriate. And it takes a pussy to show them that. But sometimes pussies can be so full of shit that they become assholes themselves. Because pussies are a inch and half away from assholes. I don't know much about this crazy crazy world, but I do know this. If you don't let us fuck this asshole we're going to have our dicks and pussies all covered in shit.")

National Treasure (Quite entertaining and fun)

This entry is really pointless.

Well another year over only it never feels like a new year until I've started school.

Highlights
-Chapter 14 (or was it 15?) of Draco Veritas being released. (It was exciting at the time)
-Sniffing highlighters and getting high in Civics
-The water posters in Compass
-MLC RPG
-Suzy and Celeste's movie premiere
-Hitting Suzy in english for no entire reason and getting hit back ten times as hard and laughing hysterically afterward for 10 minutes thereby confirming in the minds of my english class that we three were very weird
-Cinema in semester 1
-Learning to knit (badly)
-Saying I was 'location scouting' in Media and feeling very professional
-Having someone murdered across the street

Lowlights
-My lapse in mental concentration that resulted in me in a turqoise leotard on stage as an extra in House Music
-Getting told I was moving this year
-The water posters being removed from Compass
-Writing essays on Hunger
-Realising the amount of money I had spent on various magazines
-Handing in my laptop at the start of the holidays

I am Jack's raging bile duct